I knew it, as soon as the light of the sun was shining in my eyes, I knew it. I was finally free. They wouldn't be able to find me here. A smile slowly crept on my face when I felt a soft breeze hit my face. Yes, I was finally free. This would be my time to heal. I grabbed the small backpack that had been leaning against my leg, put it on my back, and with one last look at the airplane, I left.
He would be picking me up in the entrance hall. It was rather strange, I never met him before but I knew that I could trust him with my life. I found the exit and stepped into the big hall. I shivered a little; open spaces like this scared me because you never knew who would be waiting for you there.
I looked around for you, hoping to see you but I couldn't find you anywhere. The whole hall was filled with people and I couldn't recognize you in all those different faces. I had nothing to worry about though, because you recognized me. I wasn't sure it would be you, until you asked me that one simple question. "Are you Cathy, my dear?" I instantly knew it was you. Not only because we had agreed to that sentence, but because of the energy that I could feel around you. You were my saviour, my protector, my light, my love...my everything.
You took the bag from my shoulder, like a true gentleman, and guided me to the car. I was tired and exhausted. Soon, I was falling asleep in the car seat while you drove us home.
I felt your hands slowly shaking my shoulder, and I opened my eyes sleepily. We had arrived. You helped me out of the car, and up to my room. You even had to catch me a few times as I tripped over my feet. Both laughing, you showed me where everything was. "Wait here Cathy, I'll get your backpack". I sat down on my bed and I looked at your back while you walked downstairs again and my eyes filled with tears.
I tried to blink them away but they just continued to come. I hid my face in my hands. I didn't want to see myself like this; I didn't want you to see me like this. However, I couldn't stop the tears and my awareness was reduced to nothing.
It was in my deepest moment that I smelt that wonderful smell. It filled my nose and it seemed to have a slight calming effect on my emotions. Only then did I notice you holding me. In a soft voice you were telling me that it was alright, but I didn't see it that way. Not yet. "I'm sorry Alex". I wrapped my arms around you and cried.
I cried for the assaults I experienced. I cried for the moment that I learned about my pregnancy. I cried for the moment that I was kicked out of the house. But most of all I cried for that what was stolen from me. The choice of my first and my beautiful little boy. My beautiful son Alan. The son who I would never see again